Somethings you never forget, unless you do.

Today was Onc Clinic day for Chloe. She had a bone density infusion which took a couple of hours so to pass the time she mapped out every possible configuration of sandwich you could make using turkey, ham, roast beef and cheese. She hasn't been feeling very well lately (stuffy nose and whatnot) so they decided to take a sample from her runny nose to test it. To do this they brought out some tools that brought back a lot of memories. As Chloe finished figuring out her sandwich chart, I remembered a scary night we had a couple of years ago.

It was a particularly rough day. She had been having complications with some of the meds she was on and had a staff infection in her lungs. That night she had a reaction and suddenly couldn't breathe. I ran to the door and called the nurses. Her doctor and 5 or 6 nurses barged into the room with some equipment in a panic. They put a tube up her nose and one down her throat and pumped her stomach out. Then they gave her a series of drugs to bring her blood pressure back down and stabilize her. I don't know if it was the fear of what could happen, or just seeing her helpless and gagging as they inserted the tubes - but I just about passed out and hit the floor. The doctor on call stayed in the room with us that night for several hours so she could keep an eye on Chloe and luckily everything was ok. I was teary eyed today thinking about it and interrupted Chloe's sandwich categorization to ask her if she remembers that night, if she remembered the tools they had to use.

She has no recollection that it ever happened.