Another Day

counts are still not registering and we are closer to needing a blood transfusion and possibly plateletts. She has very little energy so she has just kinda been hanging out. She was glad to have a visit from Mal and Eliza today. Eliza is a cute little girl and looks just like her daddy - well except for the earrings. Eliza, not Zach.

When the Jazz dancers stopped by the other day Chloe made a comment that she'd like to be a cheerleader. Our nurse heard her and knew that there was another patient on the floor who had been a cheerleader at Weber High (she is now 19). So the Nurse asked her [Natalie] if she would like to visit Chloe and tell her about being a Cheerleader. Chloe denies ever saying that because she wants to be a nurse now. Nonetheless, we really enjoyed visiting with Natalie.

It's always been a little frustrating to Stacie and I because we want to help Chloe feel better but she is so little that she doesn't know how to describe the pain she is in. So, I asked Natalie what chemos she had taken and how they made her feel. She had taken several of the same that Chloe had so she was experiencing a lot of the same side effects like mouth sores and other sores throughout her body. She told us how miserable the open sores were, especially when they were down in the bum area. She described them as an intense burning that just won't go away no matter what position you are in.

She also said that when your counts are really low everything hurts. She has a hard time walking and just moving around or being touched is painful. Which explains a lot about how chloe acts when her counts are super low.

I was glad for the visit because i understand what Chloe is going through better. But having someone who is experiencing it first hand explain how it really feels just makes me more sad for Chloe. I mean i always felt really bad for her, but now I know even more how miserable she is. And I feel so bad for Natalie who just graduated and probably had all kinds of plans, then suddenly she is fighting for her life. Girls that are 19yrs old or 6 yrs old shouldn't have to deal with this - no one should.

Coincidentally, Mal knew Natalie's family somehow. Chloe had fun trying to feed Eliza and watching her cry when I was holding her and she realized that I sound like her dad, but i'm not. I must not smell as sweet, like pumkin bread or honey whole wheat. That's one of the reasons I've always liked Zach, 'cause he smells so sweet. Mom and Dad really should have named him Frankensence.