We aren't in charge...

Last weekend was a tough one for me. The lady upstairs whose son got his transplant 5 days before chloe got to go home. I was bummed out because they were leaving before his 100 days were up. I got a little down until we talked to her outside one day and Jake asked her about going home. She said she basically told the doctors they were leaving. He had no signs of GVHD and they were ready to go. I got motivated to ask the doctors if we could go home. I wouldn't be as upfront about it as she was, I am just not that way. The day before her appointment I was sitting on the floor next to her and I knew she was thinking. I told her they get to go home (the people upstairs) because the mom just told the doctor they wanted to go. She looked at me and said, " I think we should wait until the doctors say we can go. I don't want to get sick." She of all people in our family to want to go home says this to me and it struck me, how grown up these past 3 years of undergoing chemo and transplant have made her. She always follows her feelings. The other day we went to a store, it wasn't very crowded, so I told her she didn't have to wear her mask. We were almost inside the store when she said, "I better get my mask, just in case."
There have been many times she has followed her promptings and what an example she is to me. She has not had a break from this place since we got here and wants to go home so badly but will stay because she wants to do what the doctors tell her. So we were both relieved when we asked and the answer was yes with a smile! I can't describe the feeling of coming home and being in my house, in my bed, with my kids, and with my best friend. We joke that we will have to get use to sleeping in the same bed again, cause we both have been using the whole bed while sleeping. But it is a getting used to that I can live with!
Jake and I have realized that we are not in charge of what happens in our life, but it is how we deal with it that matters. We never thought we would go through one of the most dreaded things in life. Cancer, isn't an easy word to hear, but you brave through it and hopefully come out better for doing so. There were times I was running on nothing, my tank was empty, yes I have been mad and wanted things to just go my way. I have been very sad at times but I have also been happy to have the opportunity to grow and have our family get stronger. Prayer has filled me up and given me strength.
Chloe has been a great example to us and hopefully will be done fighting this disease.
We will be home on wednesday! Hooray!