Today's date turned our life upside down. It marks the three year anniversary of Chloe's diagnosis. It is not a day I like to remember but since we are still fighting it, I remember. But I know I will for the rest of my life. I remember that day like it were yesterday and how we were brought into the doctors office with a couch in it and we both looked at each other and thought this can't be good. You never can be prepared to hear your child has cancer. I thought, "what did you say?" We were told there is no time to waste and to get down to the hospital right away there was a room ready for us. Jake couldn't drive, he called his mom but he couldn't tell his mom, the tears were just coming hard. The Cochrans were watching our other kids and I just hugged Megan and cried when we got there. They helped us with our kids and got us some food, we packed and off we went. On the way down we tried to talk about other things. But how could we not think of this. Chloe has no idea what was going on. She was 4 years old. To distract her, or more likely myself, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she replied, "A mom." At that moment I felt how much the Lord loved her, even more so than I did (which you think is impossible cause you love your kids so much). I knew he would take care of her. I thought 'I hope it will be possible for her to be a mom,' and I realized you can be a mom whether or not you give birth or not.
It was a friday so a lot of the procedures that were done we were all by ourselves. Sitting in waiting rooms with no one else, together with our own thoughts. I remember letting her go off to get surgery [installing her central line] thinking this man is taking her, I have no idea who he is and now he is taking my precious girl away to have surgery, this is crazy. We were educated, informed, told all about the side effects and the treatment protocol. We were scared. It was going to be a long journey, little did we know it was going to be longer than we thought.
Chloe you are amazing! I love you.
5 comments:
I remember that day too. Man I am in tears again, but I know that strong little Chloe and your family will get through this. Then we are going to party. I love you guys.
I love you too Chloe! And you too Stacie, Jake, Addie, Elsie, and Rhen. You are all awesome!
I remember getting Jake's email and having to read it multiple times through the tears and the shock of it all. Through your trial you have all handled it with amazing strength and have taught us all so much. I can't imagine how hard it has been and admire how you continue to face each day with faith and smiles. I am so thankful for your friendship and example. You keep us grounded and make us realize how we should value everyday and try to look for the positive. Thanks! I agree, when you get through this, we need to party hard!
I remember that day also. When I got the phone call and heard the news, my heart nearly jumped right out of my chest! No! No! Not my sweet Chloe!!! Making that long drive down to Providence to stay with Addie and Elsie while you guys took Chloe to PCH was a LONG tearfilled journey. These things are supposed to happen to OTHER people's families---although you would never really wish it upon your enemy! But, right now, things are looking good and hopefully the end is near. Our prayers are with your family every day!
You have me in tears again Stac! That day seems like so long ago. You've been through so much and continue to amaze us little Chloe! We love you guys.
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